Regrets...

I try to live a life without regret. I think there will always be something (whether big or small) that we wish we hadn't done. It's not always that bad, but sometimes we just wish it were different.

My current regrets?

Not getting bridal pictures when I was getting married.
Not getting pregnancy pictures when I was pregnant.

Living in Provo, I am surrounded by cute young couples who are newly married or just starting off their beautiful little families. And while I love it here, every time I go into the house of a new neighbor (or Visiting Teaching assignment / future friend), there is some GORGEOUS and lovely and wonderful picture of them in a pretty white dress. OR of them in some wonderful setting showing off the cute baby belly and they are absolutely glowing. And I get jealous.

I don't plan on getting married again or having any more babies, so these opportunities have now past me. Maybe when I am super skinny (or you know, at least not as big as I am now) I will go and have some lovely pictures of me and my beautiful family taken. And then you will all be jealous of me. :)

Do you have any huge regrets?

I'm better now...

Man.

That last post was a bummer, wasn't it!

I'm feeling better today. And yesterday.

I went walking. I played with the kids. I spent some time with my Angie and her kids.

I guess I was just having one of those guilty days on that last post. Sorry to have shared it with you all...

Stop.

I am feeling overwhelmed. Stuck. Lost.

I love my Primary calling. It keeps me distracted and keeps me happy. It's something I feel like I'm good at. The kids are wonderful and it's so great to see them grow.

I love my Family. My kids are smart and funny and cute. My husband is a hard worker and truly my best friend.

I have a good life. I'm blessed. I'm surrounded by good people. We have relatively good health. My daughter seems to be getting better. Our house is *almost* done.

So what is wrong!?

I'm feeling worthless. Like I can't / don't do anything.
I'm tired. All of the time.
I'm feeling guilty because I spend too much time being distracted by the computer.
I don't want to cook / clean / do any chores.
I feel like I should cry.
I can't afford my daughters hospital bills. No word from Medicaid yet.
I should be better at teaching / playing with / reading to my children.

I think I'm going to take a break from being online. Maybe I'll feel better. Maybe I'll feel productive... Maybe...