Thirty.

In honor of turning the BIG 3-0, I've decided to post 30 things that you might not know about me. And believe it or not, this was Jeremiah's Idea! I know I'm surprised too! Ready? It's gonna be long! :)

1. My real name is April. April Amanda (Barlow) Hardman. My parents have always called me Mandy but for doctors appointments and legal things, I'm April. Born in March, named April. They had a mutual friend who was on a mission at the time. They told him to send names (boy and girl) and they would choose one. The only name he sent was Mandy. :)

2. When I was in 5th grade, Jeremiah was my 'boyfriend'. Yep. We held hands on the bus and sat next to each other. He always wore camouflage pants and I had a dream when spending the night at my friends house that I married Jeremiah. I told her about it and she said - NEVER gonna happen. We broke up because his uncle made fun of him because he hadn't kissed me. Many moons later, we actually started to date and got married. Circle of Life, baby.

3. I have 2 Aunts who are only a few years older than me. Growing up, I idolized them (let's be honest, I still kind of do!) My aunt Stacey (my mom's youngest sister) would stay with us during the summer. She would go on dates and I think because no one else was there to 'brag' to, she'd tell me about them. She's tell me about the boy's car, if they kissed, etc. I loved it. :) I think that's what made me want to kiss boys. Her stories were awesome. :)

4. Contrary to what some may believe (because I may or may not have made up stories when I was younger), my first 'real kiss' was at age 15. And I hated it. I even said 'oh gross'... The relationship lasted a whole 3 weeks. I didn't even care. But, to this day, I still don't like the girl he was obsessed with.

5. I was scared to be an 'at home mom'. I knew how to work. I knew my job well. I was good at it. I also had issues staying at home with Archer and DarTanion when Archer was born. Dang postpartum. But when Archer was 18 months old and needed surgery and I took a week off to be at home with him, I knew I could do it. And I enjoyed it. Up to that point, I sort of swore off having another baby for a while. After I stayed home with him and enjoyed it and saw that I could do it, I decided I could have another baby. I told Jeremiah and he agreed and we decided that when I did, I could stay home with the kids. We started trying right away. I went to work, told my boss that I was trying to get pregnant and when I did, I would go on maternity leave and not be coming back. Turns out, I gave him a year's notice. Robyn was born 1 year after.

6. When I was younger, I had a blood disorder called henoch-schoenlein purpura. Basically big bruise looking spots all over my legs. It was evil and it hurt. The doctors didn't know what it was. Lots of blood work, lots of worry, lots of unknown. I eventually 'grew out of it'. I don't know how my parents did it, but I don't remember them really being too scared about it (or letting on to ME that they were scared). I appreciate that. :)

7. I love my friends like I love my family. Chances are, you probably already know this. But when I make friends - and I don't mean just acquaintances, I mean we hang out and do things together type friends - it's a forever thing for me. I will do whatever I can within my means to make you happy, to help you out, to love you and all that comes with you. You become my family that I chose. And I love you. And I'm grateful for that. :)

8. I take WAY too many pictures. We're talking a couple hundred a week. I blame it on my awesome phone. It has a 5 mega pixel camera on it and well, that means I always have a camera on me. I used to carry my camera (which is 12 mega pixel) but my purse was always too full... And with my phone - it's always there! :) So we have a whole hard drive on our computer dedicated to JUST pictures. And it's awesome.

9. I love music. I will often choose a 'theme song' for the day / week. Sometimes it might not have anything to do with that day, other than I heard the song and loved it. :) Music has a way of transporting you to a certain part of your life and making you remember how you felt at that moment - good or bad. For some reason, angry songs make me happy. :)

10. I'm scared of getting older. Bodies breakdown and wear out and it hurts. I've seen friends and family get older and have to go through more and more medical issues. And I'm scared. Scared of the pain and the process. Life is scary.

11. I take Zoloft. I'm not afraid to admit it. It has really helped with my anxiety and my thoughts. I'm able to be a better mom, better friend and better spouse because I'm not freaking out at the drop of a hat. Just ask my friend, Jennifer. We went out once and I got sick. For the next 3 times we went out, I would worry so much that I would get sick that I actually MADE myself sick! I still go thru that when I get really excited for something, that I worry I will get sick and miss out and then I end up making myself sick. Not really fun. But the Zoloft helps. So does the occasional Xanex. So for all the haters - keep your opinion to yourself.

12. I hated Human Resources. Hated it. Something I probably shouldn't admit right now since I'm looking for a job again (so that our family will have some health insurance), but I did. I always came home stressed out. I hated thinking about the people who I had known for a while losing their job and insurance and livelihood. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. I'm a nice person. I like everyone to like me. HR was NOT for me and I hope to avoid it in my job search. Cashier, greeter - something simple and not life altering would be just fine with me.

13. I miss old friends. Even the ones who really screwed me over. Ones that lied to me. Cheated me out of things that were mine. Ones that stole from me. Ones that did all three! But they all had a quality that made me like them. And those qualities, I miss.

14. My dark side exists in Dr. Mario. :) I'm a nice person until it comes to a little competition in Dr. Mario and then I get evil. I even swear! It works me up and gets me excited and it's a rush! Man.. I'm kind of sad that way, I guess. :)

15. I miss the attention I used to get when I was young and skinny. I liked the complements and the flirting. I didn't act on it, but it was nice to be hit on...

16. As cheesy romantic it may sound, Jeremiah really is my best friend. I can tell him anything, he makes me laugh when I'm sad (or any time, really) and he helps me out. He has a million great qualities that he doesn't always let others see. I'm glad that I had a weak moment in high school and started kissing him. :)

17. I am actually really thankful for the trials in my life. The small, day-to-day ones and the big ones that I have had to face and over come. I'm a big believer in choice. I try to make a conscience decision to do good and to be positive. I believe that I have grown a lot from everything I've had to face. From fights with friends, to baby scares, to babies being sick. I've grown. I've overcome. And I'm stronger because of it.

18. I'm happy to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. :) I've had my share of rebellion and struggles and trials in religion, but I've always came back. And I've always found peace and comfort. God is good. :)

19. I have a need to be needed. I like to feel useful. I think that's why being a mom is so great to me. :) They ALWAYS need me. :)

20. My favorite band is Aerosmith. I've seen them live 3 or 4 times. They are fantastic live. I love going to concerts. If I had lots of expendable money, that's what I would do with it. See as many live shows as I could. Let's see if I can name all the people I've seen live... Aerosmith, Kid Rock, KISS, Jimmy Eat World, Melee, Army of Freshmen, Bowling for Soup, Motley Crue, Poison, Lonestar, John Anderson, New Kids on the Block, Lady Gaga, Natasha Beddingfield, Boys II Men, Cheap Trick, Ratt, New Found Glory, Dokken, Chris Ledoux, Sawyer Brown, Vanilla Ice, and MC Hammer. I think I'm probably missing some...

21. I don't usually eat breakfast food for breakfast. I'm a 'real' food person all day. Give me left overs from last night's lasagna or pizza and I'm happy. Sometimes I'll do breakfast, but normally, I'm totally happy with leftovers.

22. My family has a tradition of shooting our Easter eggs instead of eating them. We take them up on a mountain, sit them on top of a milk jug and shoot. I'm a great shot. Better than some boys I know. :) Also, I've killed a deer before. My dad made me. He said if I didn't, that I couldn't go to Homecoming, so 3 shots later and we had a dead deer.

23. I'm 5 ft 5in tall. I'm 183 lbs (did I just write that down for the world to see?) I wear a size 15 - 16 in pants (that too?). My shoes are about an 8 1/2. And of course, the measurement that matters most? :) 38 DD.

24. I've had some great best friends in my life. Sandy Turner, Teresa Sanders, Jedd Shepherd, Michelle Davidson, Kelly Cook, Jeremiah Hardman, Angie Neal, Mandy Smith, Beeno Zaccardi, Jennifer Sweat, Jessie Post, and Heather Bagley. I've had other friends, but I think that these ones are some that truely affected who I am today. They are all awesome people. You should meet them all. :)

25. My mom wanted to name me Shasta Lee (if I was a girl) or Sheldon Z (if I were a boy). I'm glad I ended up being Mandy. :) I hope our kids will be okay with our 'weird' choices in names.

26. Some of my favorite movies are: Almost Famous, Can't Hardly Wait, Empire Records, Clue, Saved, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Zoolander, and other goofy funny comedies.

27. I am an obsessive person. If I find something that I really like, I tend to become obsessed. In my youth, I watched General Hospital. When I was old enough to know how (aka high school), I recorded the episodes that were on during the day so that I could watch them when I got home. I missed school (and my mom let me) when Lucky 'died'. I was depressed for a whole week. He was my favorite. Then I bought videos someone made of all of Lucky and Liz's moments together. We watched them on my bridal shower. I was a member of 3 different fan clubs.. I've finally given up GH and I'm glad. Now I have other obsessions...

28. In 6th grade, I was one of the Class President's for Mr Crittenden's class. I also won a trophy at the end of the year for 'most athletic'. Now, if you know me at all - you know I'm not athletic. But I tried. And apparently, that's what they wanted! :)

29. I've had glasses since 3rd grade. I didn't get contacts until I was 19. I wore them pretty steadily until I quit my job. Now it's a handful of times a year. Glasses just work for me. I probably won't be able to get Lasik to 'fix' my eyes because of how bad they are. And they are still changing. I'm 'not a good candidate' for Lasik... Oh well. :)

30. I was hospitalized in between 3rd and 4th grade. I had a root canal done and the dentist punctured my sinus. The infection in my tooth spread, went up to my sinus and was attacking my eye (and draining out of my newly pierced ears). My face swelled and I was taken to the hospital. It took a big nurse, my dad and mom to hold me down while they put the IV in. Twice. I did NOT want that in.

SO... Did you read it all? Do you know all about me? Do you have more questions? If so, just ask. I'm pretty much an open book. :)

Get to know me a little better.

• Do you like pets? Have you any? Yes, I like pets. Currently I have 1 cat, 1 dog.
  
• Which was the last book you read?Currently reading City of Glass and the Book of Mormon
  
• Are you fond of cooking? Generally, yes.
  
• Have you ever lived in another country? Nope. Not much of a traveler.
  
• Have you ever met a famous person? A few, but none that stand out right now.
  
• What do you do in your free time? What Free time? I'm a mom! Read, sleep.
  
• What kind of food do you prefer eating when you are out? Mexican. Cafe Rio, to be exact.
  
• What kind of people do you like?All - but the ones with a past seem to have the best stories and tend to be the most interesting.
  
• What kind of people do you not like? Um... Mean ones, I guess?
  
• What are the various languages that you know to speak in?English, Heber-ite, Jibberish, Thomas
  
• What cartoon character best describes you the best? Marge Simpson
  
• If you had an option to choose a place anywhere in the world where you could live for a year, where would it be? Disneyland. :)
  
• If you knew, could you try on any kind of work and that you would not fail in it, what would attempt doing? Being a millionaire. :)
  
• What super-power would you most like to have, and why? Super Mom powers - be able to keep the house clean, dishes done, meals that everyone will eat on the table, teach my kids everything they need to know before they need to know it...
  
• If you had $5 million to spend in 5 days, but with the clause that you could not spend any of it on yourself or your family, what would you do with it? Help out my friend (if I can't help out my family) and donate it to Primary Children's Hospital. :)
  
• Which sports do you like? Dancing (it's a sport, people!), Football, T-Ball when my kids are playing it :)
  
• Who do you respect the most? Those who have overcame a hard situation / past and are 'better' because of it
  
• Who plays the most influential role in your life? My hubby and kids
  
• Which is your favorite concert you have ever attended so far? Aerosmith concerts. I love those guys. Seeing them with KISS was pretty awesome. :)
  
• Would you bungee jump? Doubtful. Too dangerous for this girl!
  
• What were you like when you were a kid? (happy, playful…)I'd say a good kid - happy - but kind of a nerd who liked 'scary' things (books / movies / etc)
  
• When was the first time that you had alcohol? What happened after that?I was 17 at my Mandy's 17th Bday Party. Good experience, though. Only drank a few times before I was 'legally' of age to do so. Then for about 3-6 months after I was 21, I drank fairly often. Then I stopped, got pregnant and haven't looked back. Don't regret doing it then, or stopping doing it.
  
• If you were the richest person on earth, what would you do with the money you had? I'd like to think I would help others out... Going thru the experiences I've gone thru in my life, I would donate lots to hospitals, places to find cures for diseases, schools, parks, etc. I'd like to think I would be generous if I were able to be.
  
• What would your dream house be like? Big. With a maid and a cook. And a big library and theater room. Oh, and a game room... And a big back yard with a fabulous play area. And a pool. And lots of other wonderful things. :)
  
• If you could change something about yourself, what would it be & why? I'd like to be skinny, but I think that comes with being a girl! :)
  
• When did you last have the heartiest laugh? Probably over something that Archer or Jeremiah did. They crack me up. :)
  
• What do you prefer - spontaneity or stability? I think I'd like to say spontaneity, but if I was really honest, it'd probably be stability.
  
• Do you love kids? I really do. I like being a mom, but I also like other people's kids. I like to volunteer at my kids schools. I like being in Primary on Sundays. I love watching their little minds GROW! Kids are pretty much amazing. :)
  
• Tell me about a scary time in your life. Robyn getting sick. That was pretty much the scariest thing I've gone thru. (www.robynhardman.blogspot.com) Archer's pregnancy was kind of scary for me. I was hospitalized as a kid for about a week, I think. And my blood disorder as a child. Yep. Those are my scary times. :)
  
• What are your hobbies? I like to read. I don't do it as much as I would like to. I like to swim. I like to make crafty little notebooks. I like to make new friends. See movies.
  

Okay, so do you know me better? Do you have any questions? I'm an open book, people. Ask me anything. :)

Update to my last update :)

After having sick kids for almost a week and Archer missing an entire week of school, everyone seems to be 'back to normal'.

Normal for my family. Which isn't normal. But not sick at least. :)

Thanks for the love, prayer and for putting up with my anxiety. :)

Anxiety, Poo, Flu and an update

So my last post probably made you all anxious too, right? Sorry about that.

Robyn's been acting better today. She's thrown up once (right after lunch) and her diapers just keep on coming full of poo. I called Primary Children's this morning and the nurse who called me back was super wonderful.

She said that since Robyn is having liquid poo diapers that at least she is getting SOME liquid out and it's probably hard to tell if some of it is pee in with the poo.

She said to watch Robyn for a fever (which she hasn't had).

She said to keep feeding Robyn anything that she will eat or drink. We are trying anything.

Then, she said that if she doesn't seem to be getting better or if she gets really worse (breathing issues or so lethargic that she just doesn't want to move), then to bring her in.

So for now, with Robyn, we wait.

I'm doing better - not as anxious - thanks to the nurse.

Archer on the other hand has been throwing up since about 6 am this morning. Every 15 - 30 minutes. And pooping every 30 minutes or so. Sometimes he does both at the same time. Then he cries. And is sad because he's a big boy and big boys don't poop in their pants. I've tried to tell him that it's okay because he's sick and he's not TRYING to poop in his pants...

Ah, parenthood. Full of the 3 P's... Pee, Poop, Puke.

**Please feel free to keep the prayers coming our direction, though. I appreciate them!**

Anxiety. And Poo.

If you know me (and chances are that if you read my blog, you do), you know that I have anxiety issues. All over the emotional (roller coaster) map of anxiety. Today, I've been okay and fine and bad. Right now, I'm beyond bad. Right now, I'm down right going insane.

Robyn threw up yesterday. Apparently twice while I was at church - but she seemed fine and ate and kept down her lunch so we decided to go to Heber. On the way to Heber, she puked up pretty much everything in her system (Sorry, I know this is gross). So we stopped at my mom's house, changed her into some clothes that my niece Kaylee has grown out of and headed up to Jeremiah's parents house. We ate lunch and during her mashed potatoes, she threw up again. She was acting like she was starving because she just kept eating. Yesterday, she was very poopy (like liquid poo) but not really wet.

All day today, Robyn has been liquid poo, no pee. Every diaper we check and every diaper, just liquid poo. She threw up once after she took her meds this morning. (BTW: Archer was throwing up this morning too, so we thought - flu bug). Then tonight right as she was starting to eat her dinner, she threw up again. Robyn's been really clinging and whiney but she will act like herself in spirts and then just whine...

So - all of this sounds familiar. (Need a refresher? Check it out HERE.) It's TOO familiar of when I thought she had a flu bug or something like pneumonia. Then I took her to the hospital and my life changed. HEART FAILURE. Life Flight. Primary Children's Hospital. Heart Specialists. PICU. Everything.

So today, I've tried to stay distracted. I've kept busy. I've gone to the library and found books and movies and cleaned and read and played online WAY too much. But now it's night. Jeremiah's watching his TV (and he's actually kind of worried too, but he has to be the voice of reason in this relationship). Kids are asleep (Robyn included). And I'm alone. With my thoughts. My bad, bad thoughts.

I'm panicking. I'm freaking out. I'm starting to arrange my life for the next 'hospital stay' and how I'm going to deal this time. I'm thinking of all the things I need to pack in a diaper bag and over night bag for the hubby so that he can take Robyn to the hospital to her specialists tomorrow because I can't. I freak out. I freak out, get sick and leave. I'm writing down all the bills that are going to need to be paid. I'm getting the Medicaid info together (hallelujah for Medicaid this *possible* time around!)

So you might be thinking - "Mandy, Calm down. There is a flu bug going around. You've been taking her more places, exposing her to more things, inviting more friends over. She was bound to get a flu bug and be sick for a few days." But you know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking - Okay, so I have to work in Archer's school on Wednesday, but luckily DarTanion will already be in school so I can go and do that, but I'm going to need a sitter for Saturday. I'm going to have to find time and gas money to make it down to SLC atleast on Thursday and Friday if I can. Then on Saturday afternoon / night maybe I can get someone to watch the boys and I can actually go down to SLC and spend the night at the hospital so that Jeremiah can come home and see the kids and do his thing and get a break from the hospital. Crap. I have sharing time on Sunday. Well, I'll have to get that covered just in case - or I can plan something just in case.

Yep. Those are the thoughts that just went through my mind. All because my baby hasn't had a pee diaper in a day and she's been throwing up. Aren't you glad you don't have Panic Attacks or an Anxiety problem? Yeah. I'm thinking tonight is a double dose of my Zoloft and depending on how tomorrow at the doctor (most likely), I'll probably need to start taking half a Xanex every other day or something.

Okay, so I had to vent because for some reason it calms me down and think that Jeremiah is sort of sick of hearing me freak out because it's came and went all day today. Hopefully this and some Nyquil (I have a cold, not taking it just for sleep reasons) will help me get through tonight without a breakdown.

Thanks for listening, blog world. I'll update you as soon as I know anything.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

So I have been reading kids books lately. And TOTALLY loving them! :) I have also been reading grown up books (City of Bones, the Mortal Instruments series) and religious books (Book of Mormon), but I think I'm enjoying 'kid books' better than any of the scary, romance-y, adult reading material I've been reading or have read in a while (yep, Twilight series, that means you too!) SO, I know you are dying to know... Which one is my favorite right now? Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney.


There are 4 books (plus one that tells you how to draw characters and stuff) in the series so far and I'm on book 4. I can read them start to finish in about an hour if I don't have the constant interuptions of "MOM! Brother is doing (insert your favorite annoyance here) to me!"

It started off simply - when I was at my (former, sad) neighbors house for about 5-10 minutes sitting with her sleeping baby so that she could run to the school to pick up her kids. The book was on the couch, so I picked it up and started flipping through it. It was kinda funny, so I decided to start reading it from the beginning. After about 12-15 pages in, I decided that I needed to hit the Library and find this funny kids book. Maybe I'd read it to my kids. Or I'd just read it for myself. :) Whichever. :)

I asked the Librarian in the kids area for the book and I didn't know the author. She smiled, told me the author is Jeff Kinney and said if I was lucky, the book would be in. She explained that they are REALLY popular right now. She took me over to where the books were and I was in luck! :) One copy of the first book was available. :) I read it that night. It was pretty darned funny. Made me smile. Made Jeremiah make fun of me. But whatever. :) If it makes me smile or makes me happy, I don't care if I'm made fun of.

SO I have been stalking the Juniors section at my local library (which is FABULOUS, by the way) and watching for book #2. I wasn't having any luck at all, so after a few weeks, I finally asked if I could be put on the wait list for it. The Librarian checked and said that actually, one book just got checked in. She would have it pulled for me in the next 5-10 minutes. :) YAY! So I read book #2 in a trip to Heber City. I came home, pulled open the library's website and requested to be on the wait list for book #3 and #4. I picked them up last night (yay, again!) and book #3 has been read. Again, totally funny. Probably my fav in the series so far.

So I totally cracked up when reading a part of book #3. Up to this point, I've read little snippets of the books to Jeremiah, but he just kinda smiles and goes back to what he's doing. But last night, Jeremiah came out to see what was so funny. I had tears in my eyes because it cracked me up. It mentioned one of my childhood / teenage obsessions.

SHEL SILVERSTEIN

I LOVE SHEL! I spent hard earned babysitting money on copying his poems (and illustrations) at the library and hung them up around my room. I kid you not. They are that awesome. Have you read 'Where the Sidewalk Ends' or 'A Light in the Attic' or 'The Giving Tree'? The man was a genius. Genius, I tell you! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (#3), The Last Straw. :)

It talks about how the little brother keeps getting out of bed at night and how when he was little, his "Dad put a stop to it real quick." Here's a quote, then a few of the pages following.

"There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein." --- now check out the next few pages---

You can click on the picture to make it bigger...

And here is the picture of Shel
from the back of "The Giving Tree"...

BBWWAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Okay, so maybe it's just me (and several other bloggers that I have found while looking for these pictures online) but that is awesomeness in it's truest form there, people. :)

Anyway, yeah, so you should read the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. It's awesome. And funny. And I can't wait to read the 4th one tomorrow while Archer is having his dental work done. (I'm a little sad I have to wait!)

Read these books. Buy these books. Buy and extra copy and give it to me for my birthday. Only 26 more shopping days left, people! :) BTW: I'm totally kidding - you don't have to buy the books for me for my birthday - you can just buy them for me for any random occasion! (haha, wink wink)

Loves!

Because you should... And I would, if I had the money.

Is that not the coolest logo thingy? :)

You should click it - you can find a way cool blog to follow and a warm fuzzy *snuggy* feeling. And you should donate. Because I would, if I could. :) And who knows, maybe I will! :) And then you and I can be friends. :)

Much Loves! :)
Mandy