It's Raining, It's Pouring....

I can't sleep.

It's almost 3am.
I went to bed at 10pm.
I woke up at around 2am...
Reason for my panic attack that is
REFUSING to let me sleep?
Same as most always...
Money.

This is probably the best illustration I could find online to describe us financially right now. Drowning in Debt... Why is this one the best, you ask? Because most of the pictures had at least a hand above water or debt. Nope. Not us... We're sinking. Completely covered and going down further.

Last month, I was hoping that we would be able to start to catch up. Hoping that we could pay everything on time. Hoping that I could pay at least the minimum payment for all of the bills. This month, it has been realized that even with a little bit of extra money coming in from Jed living here (Jeremiah's brother moved in the end of September) that we still aren't 'making it'.

But, the news gets worse.
Jeremiah will probably be laid off soon. AND
We've received a Medicaid Denial Letter (which I'm fighting, btw).

So, these are the reasons I am awake at 3am. These are the reasons I buy my clothes at the DI or at Savers. These are the reasons that I can't go out with you. These are the reasons for my stress...

I was going to end the post there. But I've decided to add this little gem...

I have been praying a lot lately for help. For guidance. For something to help me see a light at the end of the tunnel. There seems to be an answer that keeps showing up that I keep covering my eyes and ears, making loud noises and ignoring.

PAY YOUR TITHING.

Something "simple". Something commanded by our Prophet. Something that I've read about, heard about, been testified to about and actually really believe in.

EXCEPT...

How do you pay tithing when you can't pay your house payment? Or car payment? Or doctor bills? Or Utility Bills?

So here is to taking a "leap of faith". Tomorrow morning when I write out checks for bills, I will be writing one for tithing...

Wish me luck.