I'm grateful.
I'm blessed.
Things always have a way of working out.
Things happen for a reason.
It'll all be okay.
I'm blessed.
Things always have a way of working out.
Things happen for a reason.
It'll all be okay.
Do you have a need for some positive thoughts lately? I sure do... I keep finding myself going downhill on this roller coaster of life. I like the highs. The anticipations and excitement and the happy. Boo to the bad, screaming crazy part.
I should be happy. My family is healthy. We have a place to live (for now anyway!). We're together. We've seen such greatness and kindness and wonderfulness in people lately. It's amazing. I love my church calling. I love my area. But for some reason, I keep finding myself in the pools of "Poor Me".
We're behind on bills because the unemployment money and the rent Jeremiah's brother pays isn't quite enough. But we've been trying to catch up. We're doing pretty good at sticking to the amounts we have been given for Food Stamps ($273/month). Diapers, kitchen and bathroom items that we've needed have been bought with the gift cards we were given for Christmas. We've not had any entertainment expense (we don't go out and we don't eat out). We promised Tanion that next school year we would try and have enough money for him to join one of the after school clubs that he wanted to be in. (And swimming lessons this summer!) We've sold our extra car seat. We've sold a few videos and things. We rent (free) movies and borrow (free) books from the Library instead of buying them for our own collection. Christmas and Birthday gifts for little friends (the kids friends) come from our "Prize Box" or the dollar store.
I'm sick of being broke.
And now?
Jeremiah's brother told us last night
that he will be moving out.
that he will be moving out.
Gulp.
So, we have to make the few small repairs that needed done upstairs that never got done but we didn't really worry about too much because Jed really didn't care. And we have to paint the walls upstairs (because my kids are messy little turds and we didn't get it done before Jed moved in). And we need to buy a fridge for the upstairs. And should really replace the doors upstairs. And the bathroom vanity. And the window that got broke. And replace our vacuum (since I am pretty sure Jed's gonna want to take his with him!)
And we have no money
to do any of it.
Not to mention we have to find new renters IMMEDIATELY. And try to get zoned appropriately... Crap. That's another issue all together.
Hospital bills are being sent to collections. And collections can add money to your bill. For example: $600 in bills is now $900 in bills (+ collection attorney fees). And we have to pay them NOW. We're applying for Financial Aid through IHC and University of Utah and I'm worried we won't be approved and we'll lose our house and our cars and everything. Except each other. I guess it's a good thing that they can't repossess Robyn after making her better!
Jeremiah still doesn't have a job. Neither do I. We've both been on interviews and Jeremiah has applied for at least 3 jobs each week since October with no luck. We've heard rumors of Okland hiring again in February, but when he calls on it, everyone claims to know nothing. So we both keep looking...
And I don't sleep well because I'm stressed and I wake up stressed and there is nothing I can do about it and I can't go back to sleep... And it makes me angry and sad. And it rains outside and it makes me sad and tired. And I'm breaking out. And that sucks.
So, for now, I'm looking into selling plasma. Not too much money in it... And I've applied to be a teachers assistant for $8.34 an hour for 4-6 hours a day. Which probably won't even pay for the babysitter for the kids but it might have health insurance... And I'm seeing if I have anything else of value (except my wedding ring) that I can sell. If we have renters, it's cheaper for us to live in our house instead of selling it and finding an apartment. If we don't have renters, we'll lose the house and everything we've done to make it ours and have to move and find a new place away from our friends and the church calling that keeps me sane and happy and focused on 'the important things'. And that sucks. Big time.
Anyway, I wanted to blog (vent) about our crappy situation. It helps me to move forward and think positive thoughts again... Say it with me now....
So, we have to make the few small repairs that needed done upstairs that never got done but we didn't really worry about too much because Jed really didn't care. And we have to paint the walls upstairs (because my kids are messy little turds and we didn't get it done before Jed moved in). And we need to buy a fridge for the upstairs. And should really replace the doors upstairs. And the bathroom vanity. And the window that got broke. And replace our vacuum (since I am pretty sure Jed's gonna want to take his with him!)
And we have no money
to do any of it.
Not to mention we have to find new renters IMMEDIATELY. And try to get zoned appropriately... Crap. That's another issue all together.
Hospital bills are being sent to collections. And collections can add money to your bill. For example: $600 in bills is now $900 in bills (+ collection attorney fees). And we have to pay them NOW. We're applying for Financial Aid through IHC and University of Utah and I'm worried we won't be approved and we'll lose our house and our cars and everything. Except each other. I guess it's a good thing that they can't repossess Robyn after making her better!
Jeremiah still doesn't have a job. Neither do I. We've both been on interviews and Jeremiah has applied for at least 3 jobs each week since October with no luck. We've heard rumors of Okland hiring again in February, but when he calls on it, everyone claims to know nothing. So we both keep looking...
And I don't sleep well because I'm stressed and I wake up stressed and there is nothing I can do about it and I can't go back to sleep... And it makes me angry and sad. And it rains outside and it makes me sad and tired. And I'm breaking out. And that sucks.
Boo-hoo...
Poor Me.
Poor Me.
So, for now, I'm looking into selling plasma. Not too much money in it... And I've applied to be a teachers assistant for $8.34 an hour for 4-6 hours a day. Which probably won't even pay for the babysitter for the kids but it might have health insurance... And I'm seeing if I have anything else of value (except my wedding ring) that I can sell. If we have renters, it's cheaper for us to live in our house instead of selling it and finding an apartment. If we don't have renters, we'll lose the house and everything we've done to make it ours and have to move and find a new place away from our friends and the church calling that keeps me sane and happy and focused on 'the important things'. And that sucks. Big time.
I'm grateful.
I'm blessed.
Things always have a way of working out.
Things happen for a reason.
It'll all be okay.
I'm blessed.
Things always have a way of working out.
Things happen for a reason.
It'll all be okay.
Posts
2 comments:
You're right...take a deep breath count your blessings and rely on your faith and everything will work out for the best/the way it needs to. Remember we don't always know the plan but God loves us and wants us to be happy and he'll never leave us. Remember you are loved and are an amazing person. I hope your week goes better. Here's a smile just for you :)
my heart feels so heavy when i hear about how hard you are having it. I wish i could pay off those bills for you. Please call me any time, come over, let me know you need someone to talk to if you'd like. And I am 100% sure that Paul's work is still hiring, they now have an ad on craigslist. http://provo.craigslist.org/tch/1571508234.html
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