Hungry...

NOTE: This is not me.

This is my friend Beeno (aka Robyn) - when she was pregnant with TWINS. This is the picture I look at when I'm sad because she looks so stinking CUTE! and I love prego belly pictures. Doesn't she look like the happiest, most awesomely pregnant lady in the world? She's partially why MY baby is named Robyn, you know...

NOTE #2: I am not in any way, shape or form announcing a baby is in our future. We are done having babies. Now, you may continue reading...

NOTE #3: This post is basically, mostly for me. I just felt like writing while the hubby is playing video games...

So lately, I've been obsessed with Baby Bellys. I live in Provo where EVERY girl around me is pregnant. Honestly, it's true. In my Primary, I think all of our husband/wife teachers are pregnant right now with the exception of 1 (maybe 2) couples. My backyard neighbor is pregnant. My side neighbor just had a baby (like last week). My upstairs neighbor had her baby back in June, but she's still a baby! I have a whole bunch of friends on Facebook who are pregnant right now and I just keep going back to their page to look at their pregnancy pictures... (Yeah, it's bad...)

My baby is 3. She's my last. She's forever my baby. And while I'm happy to see her grow and happy to give away all of my 'baby' things and move on to life with older kids, I'm kinda sad.

I love being pregnant. It's the coolest thing in the world. You GROW an actual little person. You can feel them move inside you! Sometimes you can even see your stomach (and this little person) move from side to side and kick! And you get this awesome stomach that isn't a "Wow, you should lose some weight" stomach, but an "Aw! That's so cool, can I feel it?" stomach. And you get to think about baby names and plan for a baby room and get to be a center of all this excitement. Because you are growing a tiny person. The coolest little miracle ever. And I love it. Even the sickness, because you are sick for a reason. And that reason is amazing.

Another thing, I love babies (and I mean, come on, who doesn't!) I love to hold them and snuggle with them and to watch them eat and to hear them laugh and see them smile...... I just love the baby stage. And before you know it, they are crawling. And before you know it, they are walking, and running and talking back and getting too big!!! DANG IT! It is fun watching them discover all these neat things that they can do, but I love that baby stage.

**Sigh**

Jeremiah and I are done. He was ready to get 'fixed' after we had Robyn, but I was not sure. (I had this whole, 'but I feel like I have another baby out there' stage, but I got over that.) So I have some fantastic, no worries type birth control until after Robyn turns 5. Then we go from there (sorry if that is too much info...) but that'll probably just mean we try other birth control or have Jeremiah get 'fixed'. And, honestly, I'm okay with that. I'm perfectly happy with having 3 kids. But there is something in the air (or water!) here and it makes me want to have a baby again. And after checking out pregnancy pictures for the last 2 1/2 hours, it makes me crave it a little.... That and the fact that my kids are at Grandma Hardman's house for the weekend and I'm not having to constantly deal with drama and attitude the KIDS bring on - that might be a factor. :)

So for now, I'm just a little baby hungry... This, too, shall pass.

"Justin Bieber IS actually gay."

This is Justin Bieber.
And for some reason, I can't stand the kid.
It's nothing personal -
Heck, I don't even know why -
I just don't like him.
(for those of you who don't know, he's this little music star whom,
if I was like 20 years younger, I would probably be in love with - but I'm not.
I'm 30 years old and I can't stand him.)

So Tanion comes home from my friend Heather's house tonight and he's singing "Baby, Baby, Baby, OH" and I recognize it as an off-key version of a song by Justin Bieber. And I look at him strange. He says "What? It's just the 'Baby' song from Justin Bieber."

And me, being the person who is ANTI-BIEBER and hasn't listened to that song EVER by choice (and only partially once that I can think of on accident while at the skating rink), look at him and ask "Where did you hear that song? And how do you know who sings it?!"

He informs me that today at school was a talent show and he heard it TWICE. And now it's stuck in his head and he actually kind of likes it and he wants me to buy him the Kid Bop CD with that song on it. ("Remember, Mom? It's on that TV commercial and it goes, 'Baby, Baby, Baby, OH!'")

I tell him NO on the CD because I don't like Justin Bieber... And he asks why. I have no answer to that question, other than I just don't. Then he asks, "Is it because he's gay?" So I am FLAT-LINED at that. I have NO idea on how to respond or where he heard that or came up with that or whatnot... I kind of stumble over my words and he says "Cuz you know, Mom, Justin Bieber IS actually gay."

So, we all get in the car and I ask Tanion who told him Justin Bieber was gay. He says "Oh, Oliver said that he is gay" and I ask if Oliver (his little friend from school) said that HE is gay or that Justin Bieber is gay. He clarifies that Oliver said that Justin Bieber is gay and that Oliver would know because Oliver is smart and 'he knows that "Baby, Baby, Baby, OH" song'.

So I ask, "Do you know what gay means, buddy?" and he sits for a second and sort of ho-hums about a few things and gives up and says "No. Not really, I guess. What is gay anyway, Mom?"

So, my explanation was "Well, if someone is gay and they are a boy, it means that they like other boys and want to marry a boy. And if someone is gay and they are a girl, it means they like other girls and want to marry a girl." He sits there for a second and proclaims, "Well, Mom, I'm not gay. I want to marry Shandy and she's a girl." (haha!)

Then he asks why a boy would want to marry another boy... And I said 'some just do and that's okay because people should be happy and we should be nice to everyone'. Then I threw in that it's not nice to call people gay cuz it could make them sad or mad. He seemed happy with that little talk and ending and starting singing that darned "BABY" song again! (Dang you, Justin Bieber and your catchy little song!)

Is it weird that I'm having this discussion with my 7-year-old? I don't think I'm ready to talk about birds and bees and sexuality! YIKES! But I do hope he is tolerant and kind to others. I hope that he doesn't get into the labeling and the finger pointing. I hope he turns out to be a good boy who is nice to everyone. Regardless if they are straight, gay or Justin Bieber fans.

(And here's the darn video to that darn song - just in case you wanted to get it stuck in your head - even though I'm not going to listen to it or watch it... and you'll probably have to double click on the video to be able to see the whole thing..

Gratitude

Today is Thankful kind of day for me...

Today I read about 2 separate friends who have had some health scares with their new babies (and I can attest that nothing is more frightening for a parent than the thought of losing your little one.) I also have a friend who is going through a health scare of her own and feeling very lost and scared. I am so grateful for my health and the health of my family...

I was able to make it to Sacrament today. I forgot the peaceful feeling you can get from a meeting full of people sharing their testimony of God and Christ and the goodness in this world. A testimony is made from your faith, health, love, strength and everything else that makes you YOU - being tested. The choices you make when faced with crisis.

I am thankful for the trials (and the outcomes!) in my life. I am thankful for the choices that I have made when faced with many of those trials. And I am thankful for the people who have gone through those trials by my side and holding my hand.

You mean so much to me that I will never be able to thank you enough.

Loves, Mandy.