Mandy Things...: Thankful

Showing posts with label Thankful. Show all posts

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Gratitude

Today is Thankful kind of day for me...

Today I read about 2 separate friends who have had some health scares with their new babies (and I can attest that nothing is more frightening for a parent than the thought of losing your little one.) I also have a friend who is going through a health scare of her own and feeling very lost and scared. I am so grateful for my health and the health of my family...

I was able to make it to Sacrament today. I forgot the peaceful feeling you can get from a meeting full of people sharing their testimony of God and Christ and the goodness in this world. A testimony is made from your faith, health, love, strength and everything else that makes you YOU - being tested. The choices you make when faced with crisis.

I am thankful for the trials (and the outcomes!) in my life. I am thankful for the choices that I have made when faced with many of those trials. And I am thankful for the people who have gone through those trials by my side and holding my hand.

You mean so much to me that I will never be able to thank you enough.

Loves, Mandy.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

School Time Thanks!

Wow - it's been a month since I posted on here! That NEVER happens! ANYWAY...

School time is just around the corner. I'm excited for my boys to get to go back and see their friends and learn lots of new things. I know they are excited, too. I was getting kind of nervous because we really don't have the money to buy new clothes / supplies but we've (once again) been taken care of...

I went through all of my boys clothes and took out the clothes that were too small and the pants that had big holes in the knees (you know, EVERY pair of pants DarTanion had from last year). Most of their shirts were in pretty good condition (YAY!) but we were only able to salvage 1 pair of pants from last year for DarTanion. Then I went through a box of 'hand me down' clothes from my aunt Stacey's boy, Tyler. We were able to use 3 pairs of pants (just a little too big / very small holes) for this upcoming year. I figured that 3-4 pairs of pants would be okay, but that just means doing laundry every few days to make sure he has clean school clothes. Well, others decided to help us out, too...

Our stake had a clothing exchange and I was able to find another pair of pants for DarTanion. I think that ALL little boys in size 6 or 7 pants must be REALLY hard on their jeans because they only had 1 pair that I grabbed before any other moms could. That brought us up to 5 pairs. That would make it a little easier... But then, family stepped in...

I just wanted to send out a special thanks to Colleenia for the school supplies that she bought for the boys - and the pair of pants she bought for Tanion and the back pack for Archer.

Thanks to my mom for the socks. :) Update: and the pants and shirts and little outfit for Robynson. :)

And a big thanks to Jeremiah's mom. She bought each boy 3-4 pairs of pants and a hoodie / jacket. I know those are not cheap... I've looked!

So now, thanks to family, my boys will be stylin' at school - which starts next week! I'm going to make sure backpacks are packed and ready to go tonight. Anything we are missing will be bought (most likely at the dollar store) on Monday. Then, on Tuesday, I ship off DarTanion to be a BIG 2nd Grader!!! Archer will be starting Kindergarten the next week. Wow... They are getting so big!

Thanks again to everyone!!! :) I know not everyone has such an amazing family to help them out. I'm very grateful that I do. :) Love you!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Appreciation for babies :)

Robyn and Baby Kiah, Nov. 2009

Sometimes, when life is good, you don't realize how good it is. Sometimes you will take those little moments for granted. You don't give your babies enough loves. You don't get down on the floor and play with them enough. You just don't show them how much you really love them. Then something happens - life slaps you in the face. Kids get sick. And it all comes hurtling back into perspective.

Angie has been one of my bestests (friends) since I was in 4th grade. We've been through quite a lot together. She was my Maid of Honor when I got married. :) She's my girl version of Jeremiah. :) She's a total goof ball and I love her for it. :)

Angie has 4 kids. 3 boys and one precious little girl named Kiah. Today is Kiah's birthday. And not just any birthday... Her 1st birthday! :) Last year, I was visiting this little doll in the hospital. Last year, I was holding her and kissing her and loving on her. Loving this little girl who my Angie has been waiting and wanting for SO long. Today, I was in another hospital room, loving on and kissing this same little girl and visiting with my Angie.

Kiah is sick, but she'll be okay. She was acting like she was teething and had a cold, but when her face started to swell (down by her jaw bone), they took her to the doctor. Antibiotics didn't cut it and now they are in the hospital. Kiah was admitted on Monday and they hope to bring her home by Thursday - with enough time to get a party together for her oldest little guy who turns 7 on Sunday. They have drained bacteria from the swelling and are doing tests on it. Unfortunately, the swelling is back so they are thinking they may have to do surgery. It's not necessarily a life or death experience, but it is a scary, scary thing to have your little one in the hospital. For any reason.

I didn't know that visiting baby Kiah in the hospital was going to affect me. But it did. I was suddenly back to the same hospital that Robyn was diagnosed in. The same cribs. The same Hospital room set up. The kids floor and play room. I started shaking a little and actually ended up crying a little while reliving my Robyn's experience.

Angie and I talked about how it's scary and how you long to see your 'healthy' kids and how you feel like you should just hold your sick little one. We both decided that if this is what it takes to be able to relate or to be strong and grow personally, that we're happy NOT relating to others and being weak and not growing personally. :)

It also makes you stop and think about your life - what is precious and what deserves your time and how you can be better. About how you freaked out and left your husband at the hospital to take care of your daughter because you couldn't handle it YET your friend is refusing to eat or go to the bathroom because she has to be there and hold and comfort her baby. Angie is a good mom. A great mom. And a great friend. :) She is calm and she's feeling the blessings of health and modern medicine. She's pretty much amazing.

Happy Birthday to baby Kiah - we wish you a happy and healthy new year. Get better soon, baby girl!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Primary :)

I love my calling. I'm the 1st Counselor in the Primary in my LDS ward. I love that I get to work with such amazing and strong women. I LOVE the kids in the ward. I KNOW that I am where I should be in my life. Does anyone else get that feeling?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone a different route earlier in my life. Like maybe I should have gone to school to be a teacher. Or maybe I should have worked at a Daycare. Or maybe I should have been a stay at home mom starting with my boys - not just after Robyn was born and we couldn't 'afford' me to work any more.

Primary is where I needed to be to help me to realize a few things.
*I should have gone to church more as a child.
*My kids are actually learning this - even when I think they aren't paying attention!
*Kids are smart.
*Going to church brings me peace.
*I like going to church.
*I needed to learn the gospel at a kids level. It makes me feel less lost.

I wonder if Colleenia just needs a calling in Nursery or Primary. She could do it, you know. She would learn the gospel from the beginning, too (which I have been doing for the last few years). She could get the support from those around her. I know that because I go to church, I know more people and have been getting more support from strangers than she is. And she needs religious support. She is great with kids. She just needs someone to reach out to her and pull her in.

That's what happened to me. :) My neighbor (who I would go walking with) was in the Primary Presidency in my ward. They needed a Secretary. I went to a Primary Party at their house. The next day, I had a calling. My prayers of Jeremiah getting a calling so that our family would go to church was answered by ME getting a calling, learning the gospel at a level I needed and having great friends and a HUGE support system...

God works in mysterious ways. Good ways.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Tears

I've cried a lot lately. I've been on one big emotional roller coaster for some reason!

This morning, I opened the mail from yesterday to find 6 (yes 6!) letters from collection agencies. Six.

I called the Law Firm / Collection Agency ones (5 of the 6) first - they were all with the same company. I explained that I was waiting for a decision from Disability Medicaid to come thru before I made payments to the Pediatric Radiology. The lady was very polite (I would HATE her job!) but explained that she is sorry but that I now have to pay the collection charges on top of the medical bills. That means instead of $600, we owe $900. Just for someone to look at Robyn's Echo's and interpret them. Gulp. I hung up and cried.

Then I called the one that the hospital still had, but that it was in their collections department. It was for the Life Flight Bill. Eight THOUSAND dollars after they already wrote off $2000 of it. They said that I had to make at least the minimum payment of $120 in the next 30 days or they would send us to a collection agency, who can charge up to 50% of what we owe. SO... yeah. I was starting to cry on the phone with her and I'm sure she could tell... When I hung up, I cried again.

I called Jeremiah, explained to him what had happened and cried again.

My kids were playing with some friends while I made those phone calls, so when their mom came over to grab them, I told her about my morning and cried again (just a little that time).

On another side of this, though, there are other tears... Good tears.

*Today our Relief Society President came over to my house with a gift from 'some members of our ward' who wanted to give us something for Christmas. Try $180 somethings. Gift Cards. I cried. So whomever you are, if you find my blog by accident, please know that I am so thankful for your kindness, your thoughts, your love. Thank you. SO MUCH...

*A few days ago, my Visiting Teacher came over with gifts for my whole little family. And a gift card. Honestly, there aren't words. Thank you Jones family. You amaze me. You made me cry happy tears.

*I opened a Christmas card from a high school work friend who I have reconnected with thanks to Facebook. More money. She bought Santa Christmas for my kids. I don't know if that was her purpose with the money, but that is what I bought with it. Thank you, Emily. You made me cry happy tears too.

*My Grandma Rea called me today just to tell me that he loves me and how absolutely wonderful I am. And I cried. I teared up on the phone but I don't know if she could tell. Thanks Grandma. :)

*My sister's birthday was Monday. We went to her house to celebrate Christmas together as a family and to celebrate her birthday because all she wanted was to spend her birthday with her family. Sean was home. He was dazed and looked SO skinny, but he was home. And that's what she wanted. I watched them sit together and her have to help him with medicines. She is SO strong. (And yeah, I cried on my way home...) But I'm glad that she got what she wanted for her birthday.

*I just cried writing about all of this.

So, please know how truly thankful, appreciative, grateful I am. I am amazed everyday by the love, the strength, the friendship, the desire to give that others have. Our family is so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. Thank you. Merry Christmas. I love you.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Guilty Gratitude.

I am so thankful and humbled by all of the help we have received this past year. It always just completely amazes me. The kindness of family. The kindness of friends. The kindness of strangers.

Today I felt guilt with that gratitude.

There was a radio contest sort of thingy that we were nominated for. It was a Christmas "helping hand" sort of thing. And when I hear that, I sort of think of helping with Gifts - which is great. Which is appreciated, but totally not necessary. But still, pretty cool. So, we were one of the lucky ones, chosen to receive help this Christmas. Again, totally surprised and humbled and thankful.

The letter we received said that we get help with Groceries, Household Items, and Clothing and Shoes for each member of the family. SO, SO awesome. Jeremiah stayed home so that he could watch Archer's Christmas program at Preschool (which he totally didn't participate in at all!). Since he was home, we decided to go together because we didn't know if everyone had to be there or what. We went and it's awesome, but I feel SO guilty!

Our 'gifts' were at the Crossroads Urban Center in Salt Lake. I've heard of them before - I've actually donated money to them before. Never been there until today, though. It's basically a big OLD house in Salt Lake. I go in and it's so old and run down and just sad looking. There is a little lobby with a couple of families in there. These families were waiting for food donations from the food pantry there. They were in dirty sweats with holes in them. They were just there for food. I go into a little room where a lady who works there looks at my paperwork and verifies that my kids do actually exist (thank you, Medicaid card). She makes sure that I am on Food Stamps and WIC (I am, thank you government). She then tells me that I will be receiving a few bags of food that people have donated there. She also gave me 2 gift certificates valued at $25 each to Smiths. Then she tells me that I get to go to the Crossroads Thrift Store and pick out clothing for our family. She gives me an address and tells me that I will also get gift certificates for NEW shoes for the kids. I thank her and a man who looks homeless helps me to my car with 2 bags of donated groceries.

We go to the thrift store and inside, the lady is super nice. She tells me to pick out 3 shirts, 3 pants, and a pair of shoes for each person in our family. This was the smallest little thrift store I have ever been in. I don't think I saw any pants that would fit anyone in my family and only a few shirts that would fit the boys. Since we really are okay on clothes, so I told her that. She asked if we had some toys for our kids and I thanked her and said that we had a few. She told me to wait at the counter while she went into the back room. She brought out 3 pairs of socks and 3 pairs of underwear (brand new) for each kid. She then gave me a gift certificate for each kid to Payless for $20 towards a new pair of shoes. She told me that if we felt we needed anything to just come back in to the main office (where we went first) and they could help us out with clothing. AND, while I was there there were 2 families that were either dirt poor or homeless there. There was one person there that I am sure they were homeless.

Okay, so I know that our money is tight and we aren't quite making bills, but we have luxuries. We still have a few things that are 'wants' as part of our bills. We have satelight. Jeremiah and I both still have our cellphone. I have the Internet. Those are all things that we really don't NEED, but that we really like and have grown accustom to. I also go to the gas station a little too often for my 'Humongous Cherry Coke'. I could give all those things up. If I had to, we could probably sell our house and find a cheaper place to live or an apartment. But we are hoping that 'this too shall pass' and we'll be back on our feet in no time.

I have a house to live in. I love my neighbors. I love my life. Honestly, I know that I am blessed. I know that I have friends and family who would do anything they could for me and my little family. We are (for the most part) healthy. We are okay.

These people weren't. And I feel like I took things away from them that they NEED and I don't. We're making it food wise. We have a stocked panty, fridge and freezer. I get groceries from WIC and I have Food Stamps. My husband is getting unemployment! My kids have shoes. More shoes than most kids their age do, probably! My kids have clothes. Lots of clothes. I'm thinking that some of these people didn't. A lady in the thrift store was really excited to be getting new underwear.

I have a warm house. I have a comfortable bed. I have books and a tv and a DVD player. I have family, friends and neighbors who help out so much. I have so many luxuries. I have so much that some don't. And I feel guilty. Grateful for the love and the help and the generousity, but I feel guilty because I know that I don't need it like others do...

So, thank you 94.1 KODJ and Crossroads Urban Center. I am so grateful for your generousity. I will be donating to you again, once I am more financially stable. If I lived closer, I would also volunteer my time. I'd even learn Spanish for you. I appreciate the Gift Certificates. The $50 to Smiths will be spent on gas, catfood and toilet paper. Food Stamps don't buy those items. My kids will be really excited about the new pair of shoes. We're going to try and take them before Christmas so that they get shoes for Christmas. That will make it about 4 Christmas presents for each this year. :) I appreciate your help.

But I feel guilty. I think that I might go down to the homeless shelter here in Utah County and give them blankets, dishes, toys, food. Things that I have that I don't need. Something that might make someone else feel better. Be stronger. Help them to exisit and hopefully get a better quality of life. I want to help. I want to serve. I want to show my love and appreciation. And I challenge you to do the same.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Oh, I'm feeling it...

I'm not a Winter Person. Not a snow person. Not even really a Christmas-y type person. Usually, I'm just a Halloween Person. But this year, it's different.

Halloween came and left and I didn't make much of a fuss about it. I wasn't feeling it.

But Thanksgiving - you betcha! We made turkeys out of apples and oranges. We colored pictures of cornucopias, pilgrims, indians, turkeys, etc. I even made a turkey. I wrote a list of things I was very Thankful for. There are a lot of things that weren't listed, but there was a lot that was. I'm very Thankful this year.

This morning I woke up to snow. See?

My normal reaction to a snow day is CRAP. There is a lot of White Crap outside. As a matter of fact, Archer and DarTanion called it White Crap until last year when I told them to just call it snow. But today? Today I smiled. I found my kids warm clothes, coats and gloves. I pulled out their snow boots. I've cleaned my kitchen and am preparing to make banana bread from our bad bananas. I might even attempt fudge with candy canes in it. The plan is to put up our Christmas Tree tonight for Family Home Evening. Home made decorations, even. And I'm giddy. Totally excited for it.

I've been thinking about my 'mixed up' emotions about the holidays this year and I've come to a conclusion. Well, two actually.

Theory #1: I'm growing up. BAH!!!

Theory #2: I'm more in tune with my spiritual side this year.

Christmas isn't about gifts. This year I'm definitely realizing that! It's about a celebration of love for others. Service towards others. Giving to others. For us, this year, we have been on a huge recieving end of things. We've been blessed beyond our wildest dreams. I've felt closer to God and in more of a spirit to serve. I don't (generally) have the attitude or "Man, I don't want to do that" when I'm asked to help out or when I see an opportunity to do something. Instead, I get excited and really want to help out. Really want to do something nice.

Sister Sheri Knight (our Ward's Primary President) is amazing. I just love her. :) Yesterday she read a story during sharing time. It's called "God Bless Your Way". She read it last year and I remember thinking - that's a great story. I should buy it. Well, I didn't. When she read it yesterday, I was so touched by the spirit. The spirit of Christ. Of Christmas. Of giving and sharing and loving others - strangers. It was overwhelming. You know, when you tear up in Senior Primary, it's a scary thing because you don't want those kids to see you cry. But I did. I teared up and had to wipe my eyes a few time. As I looked at the kids in the room, they really seemed to basically be paying attention. But something that amazed me more? Our 2 Valiant Boy teachers were also crying a little. The MEN in the room were crying!!! They felt that spirit too. After Primary, one of them even came up to find out the title of the book because he 'needs to have that story'. It's really that amazing. You should buy it. I'm going to try to find a way to buy it for myself.

So this year, I'm feeling the TRUE Spirit of the season. I'm feeling grateful and spiritual and happy and blessed. I hope to express this to my kids. I hope to help them to feel the spirit of the season and really, truely KNOW the reason for Christmas. Christ.

I love you all.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I'm a Little Bummed...

Don't get me wrong, I've had an awesome Thanksgiving Day - full of turkey (and left over turkey!), mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, croissants, salad, pie - with some of my family and all the other wonderful things of this great holiday...

BUT...

I'm feeling bummed. Again. For the same old reasons as most of my other depressing posts.

For some reason, I decided that I needed to go through our bills and decide which ones get paid this month. I've hated paying bills for the last several months because I know that we don't have money and I know that they aren't all going to be paid and I know that I'm going to end up feeling crappy by the time I'm through. But, it needed to be done and I've been putting it off for, oh, about a month now. So now I'm bummed. And it helps me to feel better when I write it down so that's what I'm doing.

Tomorrow is the BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY of the year. I love to go out and be part of the madness. That and I love the awesome deals! :) But, when you are broke and can only afford ONE Christmas Gift per child (and your price limit per gift is $25!) - it sucks. DarTanion's gift is bought already (YAY!), but I need to get something for Archer and Robynson. I've found some deals at Walmart and my parents paid Jeremiah a little money for helping in their kitchen (total remodel - it's gonna be awesome!). So now, I have $70 to buy something small for Archer, something small for Robyn, and hopefully a little something for my niece, my nephew and the 3 cousins my kid's have for Christmas for the Bagley Christmas party. Oh yeah - not to mention Robyn's birthday in 2 days. Or Reanna's or Kaylee's or Colleenia's....

If you are an adult family member, you're probably not getting anything except a Christmas card from us this year. Sorry. I feel really badly about that. Because I really like to go all out and give basically everyone I know something. But not this year. Family, Friends and Neighbors will probably be getting homemade bread or cookies. Grandparents: Sorry, I couldn't afford the photo books this year. I got them all put together, but I couldn't afford the $45 to get them done. And I really can't afford the $70 that they are now! But they're made and I can buy them at a future date, and I really hope to be able to do that. Sorry. It'll probably be a family picture or a picture of the kids in a frame that I already have.

SO, if you planned on getting Jeremiah and I something - please don't! I feel horrible that I can't get you anything. But I have to pay my bills, so that I don't lose my house, my heat, my power, my Internet (it's important so I can keep in touch!), my phone (again, important so I can keep in touch).

There is an awesome thing that I'd like to share, though...

I have a friend down here in Provo named Heather. She has 4 kids that play with my 3 kids really well. We've connected, our kids like each other and she seems to be able to handle Jeremiah's goofy personality! :) She wanted to help with Robyn's birthday (which is awesome), so she posted an ad on KSL telling people of our circumstance and said that if people could help, it would be appreciated. So far, Robyn has had 3 gifts show up from complete strangers who just wanted to help our little girl have a great birthday. Once again, the kindness of strangers amazes me. Because of a simple act of love from my friend, my family is blessed and prayers are answered.

I am bummed about our finances and inability to buy things for our loved ones, but I know that I am blessed. I know that I am loved. I know that somehow, it'll all work out.