Primary :)

I love my calling. I'm the 1st Counselor in the Primary in my LDS ward. I love that I get to work with such amazing and strong women. I LOVE the kids in the ward. I KNOW that I am where I should be in my life. Does anyone else get that feeling?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone a different route earlier in my life. Like maybe I should have gone to school to be a teacher. Or maybe I should have worked at a Daycare. Or maybe I should have been a stay at home mom starting with my boys - not just after Robyn was born and we couldn't 'afford' me to work any more.

Primary is where I needed to be to help me to realize a few things.
*I should have gone to church more as a child.
*My kids are actually learning this - even when I think they aren't paying attention!
*Kids are smart.
*Going to church brings me peace.
*I like going to church.
*I needed to learn the gospel at a kids level. It makes me feel less lost.

I wonder if Colleenia just needs a calling in Nursery or Primary. She could do it, you know. She would learn the gospel from the beginning, too (which I have been doing for the last few years). She could get the support from those around her. I know that because I go to church, I know more people and have been getting more support from strangers than she is. And she needs religious support. She is great with kids. She just needs someone to reach out to her and pull her in.

That's what happened to me. :) My neighbor (who I would go walking with) was in the Primary Presidency in my ward. They needed a Secretary. I went to a Primary Party at their house. The next day, I had a calling. My prayers of Jeremiah getting a calling so that our family would go to church was answered by ME getting a calling, learning the gospel at a level I needed and having great friends and a HUGE support system...

God works in mysterious ways. Good ways.

Oh, I'm feeling it...

I'm not a Winter Person. Not a snow person. Not even really a Christmas-y type person. Usually, I'm just a Halloween Person. But this year, it's different.

Halloween came and left and I didn't make much of a fuss about it. I wasn't feeling it.

But Thanksgiving - you betcha! We made turkeys out of apples and oranges. We colored pictures of cornucopias, pilgrims, indians, turkeys, etc. I even made a turkey. I wrote a list of things I was very Thankful for. There are a lot of things that weren't listed, but there was a lot that was. I'm very Thankful this year.

This morning I woke up to snow. See?

My normal reaction to a snow day is CRAP. There is a lot of White Crap outside. As a matter of fact, Archer and DarTanion called it White Crap until last year when I told them to just call it snow. But today? Today I smiled. I found my kids warm clothes, coats and gloves. I pulled out their snow boots. I've cleaned my kitchen and am preparing to make banana bread from our bad bananas. I might even attempt fudge with candy canes in it. The plan is to put up our Christmas Tree tonight for Family Home Evening. Home made decorations, even. And I'm giddy. Totally excited for it.


I've been thinking about my 'mixed up' emotions about the holidays this year and I've come to a conclusion. Well, two actually.

Theory #1: I'm growing up. BAH!!!

Theory #2: I'm more in tune with my spiritual side this year.

Christmas isn't about gifts. This year I'm definitely realizing that! It's about a celebration of love for others. Service towards others. Giving to others. For us, this year, we have been on a huge recieving end of things. We've been blessed beyond our wildest dreams. I've felt closer to God and in more of a spirit to serve. I don't (generally) have the attitude or "Man, I don't want to do that" when I'm asked to help out or when I see an opportunity to do something. Instead, I get excited and really want to help out. Really want to do something nice.

Sister Sheri Knight (our Ward's Primary President) is amazing. I just love her. :) Yesterday she read a story during sharing time. It's called "God Bless Your Way". She read it last year and I remember thinking - that's a great story. I should buy it. Well, I didn't. When she read it yesterday, I was so touched by the spirit. The spirit of Christ. Of Christmas. Of giving and sharing and loving others - strangers. It was overwhelming. You know, when you tear up in Senior Primary, it's a scary thing because you don't want those kids to see you cry. But I did. I teared up and had to wipe my eyes a few time. As I looked at the kids in the room, they really seemed to basically be paying attention. But something that amazed me more? Our 2 Valiant Boy teachers were also crying a little. The MEN in the room were crying!!! They felt that spirit too. After Primary, one of them even came up to find out the title of the book because he 'needs to have that story'. It's really that amazing. You should buy it. I'm going to try to find a way to buy it for myself.

So this year, I'm feeling the TRUE Spirit of the season. I'm feeling grateful and spiritual and happy and blessed. I hope to express this to my kids. I hope to help them to feel the spirit of the season and really, truely KNOW the reason for Christmas. Christ.

I love you all.

Religious Rambling...

I've been reading a lot lately. And not just everyone's blogs or Facebook (though, I've been reading those too). Lately, I've read from 'The Friend', 'Ensign', 'Book of Mormon', different Primary manuals, and a book called 'Keeping It All Together in a Pull-Apart World'. Notice a theme? LDS maybe?

I've felt the need for extra strength lately. For guidance. For something... I've found several scriptures, articles and just 'handy' words. Something I've been trying to do before reading is to say a prayer for 'guidance to comfort / strength / help / feelings of good'. Just a quick - "hey God, it's me Mandy. I'm about to read so it'd be great if I got something out of it" kind of prayer. (No, I actually go a little more into detail and say it nicer, but basically, that's the main part of it...) And you know what? It's been working.

I like Prayer. It works. :) Prayer is something that I believe in with my whole heart. I love that when I'm feeling overwhelmed or sad or happy or whatever - I have someone who I can go to who will listen and help me or comfort me without interrupting or judging. My private prayers (when said silently and while I am laying down trying to almost fall asleep) tend to ramble into different places, but I always feel like I can say 'oops! sorry for going off on that tangent' and go back to the "thank you's" and the "I could really use your help" or the "please send love / comfort / blessings their way"... My kids, their prayers, are usually pretty much the same every night. DarTanion is starting to say a variety of things in his prayer and they usually make me smile. His most recent things involve "Please let me be able to play with Jordan or Stuart tomorrow and that my mom won't say I have to do something else so they can't come over". But he always asks for blessings of health for Robyn and his Uncle Sean. :) And it makes me smile. And it makes me tear up a little... Robyn has started saying prayers at night too (instead of just listening to the boys and saying AMEN when they are done) and it melts my heart. :)

Prayer brings me strength, but sometimes, I feel like I need something else. Or maybe that's where my prayers are leading me. And I go back to my reading. I've been guided to so many articles, scriptures and stories lately that have lifted my spirits and make me feel so peaceful. It's such a great feeling. :)

And my friends and neighbors - completely amazing. I can't begin to even describe the love I have for some of them. They have done SO MUCH for not only my family but for ME specifically. I stand amazed at the love that they continue to show... I hope I can be as good to them as they are to me.

My Visiting Teachers came over tonight. The lesson they felt inspired to teach was a great one on Trials and how they will make us stronger and able to related better with others. You know, it's true. :) And also, they said to be thankful for your trials - which may be hard, but if you can be thankful for your trials, you will be stronger. I totally agree. I've gone thru some trials here and there in my life but overall, it's been pretty boring and 'huge trial' free. But you know, it's in my patriarchal blessing to be thankful for trials because they will make me stronger and able to sympathize with others who are in similar situations - and I think it's SO true. :) I love it.

Anyway, I felt impressed to put these feelings down for who knows what reason, so I did.

Much love.
Mandy