Short...

I had the intentions of another 'boo-hoo / poor me' post, but I'm not going to. I'm just going to say that my nose is sore from wiping it so much. And that I feel bad for Robynson. And then explain.

I have a sinus infection, but am on good prescription meds for it and hopefully in the next few days will be able to breath and be happy and upbeat before I know it! (and it only cost $100!)

Robynson has 'mouth ulcers' - the doctor used some long term in addition to that but essentially she has big, white, puss-filled sores in the crease of her mouth. She's been crying for pretty much all of the last few days and not really been wanting to eat. The doctor wanted to give her some medicine for it that would take care of it right away BUT it hasn't been tested on kids under the age of 12, so he didn't want to give it to her. So, for the next 7-10 days, I get to torture my daughter, hold her down and smear oragel (or other teething meds) on the sores to make them less sore and feed her really bland food.

Boo.

(But my attitude is starting to improve, so that is good...)

The end.

The Poor (ME) House...

I'm grateful.
I'm blessed.
Things always have a way of working out.
Things happen for a reason.
It'll all be okay.

Do you have a need for some positive thoughts lately? I sure do... I keep finding myself going downhill on this roller coaster of life. I like the highs. The anticipations and excitement and the happy. Boo to the bad, screaming crazy part.

I should be happy. My family is healthy. We have a place to live (for now anyway!). We're together. We've seen such greatness and kindness and wonderfulness in people lately. It's amazing. I love my church calling. I love my area. But for some reason, I keep finding myself in the pools of "Poor Me".

We're behind on bills because the unemployment money and the rent Jeremiah's brother pays isn't quite enough. But we've been trying to catch up. We're doing pretty good at sticking to the amounts we have been given for Food Stamps ($273/month). Diapers, kitchen and bathroom items that we've needed have been bought with the gift cards we were given for Christmas. We've not had any entertainment expense (we don't go out and we don't eat out). We promised Tanion that next school year we would try and have enough money for him to join one of the after school clubs that he wanted to be in. (And swimming lessons this summer!) We've sold our extra car seat. We've sold a few videos and things. We rent (free) movies and borrow (free) books from the Library instead of buying them for our own collection. Christmas and Birthday gifts for little friends (the kids friends) come from our "Prize Box" or the dollar store.

I'm sick of being broke.

And now?

Jeremiah's brother told us last night
that he will be moving out.

Gulp.

So, we have to make the few small repairs that needed done upstairs that never got done but we didn't really worry about too much because Jed really didn't care. And we have to paint the walls upstairs (because my kids are messy little turds and we didn't get it done before Jed moved in). And we need to buy a fridge for the upstairs. And should really replace the doors upstairs. And the bathroom vanity. And the window that got broke. And replace our vacuum (since I am pretty sure Jed's gonna want to take his with him!)

And we have no money
to do any of it.

Not to mention we have to find new renters IMMEDIATELY. And try to get zoned appropriately... Crap. That's another issue all together.

Hospital bills are being sent to collections. And collections can add money to your bill. For example: $600 in bills is now $900 in bills (+ collection attorney fees). And we have to pay them NOW. We're applying for Financial Aid through IHC and University of Utah and I'm worried we won't be approved and we'll lose our house and our cars and everything. Except each other. I guess it's a good thing that they can't repossess Robyn after making her better!

Jeremiah still doesn't have a job. Neither do I. We've both been on interviews and Jeremiah has applied for at least 3 jobs each week since October with no luck. We've heard rumors of Okland hiring again in February, but when he calls on it, everyone claims to know nothing. So we both keep looking...

And I don't sleep well because I'm stressed and I wake up stressed and there is nothing I can do about it and I can't go back to sleep... And it makes me angry and sad. And it rains outside and it makes me sad and tired. And I'm breaking out. And that sucks.

Boo-hoo...
Poor Me.

So, for now, I'm looking into selling plasma. Not too much money in it... And I've applied to be a teachers assistant for $8.34 an hour for 4-6 hours a day. Which probably won't even pay for the babysitter for the kids but it might have health insurance... And I'm seeing if I have anything else of value (except my wedding ring) that I can sell. If we have renters, it's cheaper for us to live in our house instead of selling it and finding an apartment. If we don't have renters, we'll lose the house and everything we've done to make it ours and have to move and find a new place away from our friends and the church calling that keeps me sane and happy and focused on 'the important things'. And that sucks. Big time.

Anyway, I wanted to blog (vent) about our crappy situation. It helps me to move forward and think positive thoughts again... Say it with me now....

I'm grateful.
I'm blessed.
Things always have a way of working out.
Things happen for a reason.
It'll all be okay.

Primary :)

I love my calling. I'm the 1st Counselor in the Primary in my LDS ward. I love that I get to work with such amazing and strong women. I LOVE the kids in the ward. I KNOW that I am where I should be in my life. Does anyone else get that feeling?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone a different route earlier in my life. Like maybe I should have gone to school to be a teacher. Or maybe I should have worked at a Daycare. Or maybe I should have been a stay at home mom starting with my boys - not just after Robyn was born and we couldn't 'afford' me to work any more.

Primary is where I needed to be to help me to realize a few things.
*I should have gone to church more as a child.
*My kids are actually learning this - even when I think they aren't paying attention!
*Kids are smart.
*Going to church brings me peace.
*I like going to church.
*I needed to learn the gospel at a kids level. It makes me feel less lost.

I wonder if Colleenia just needs a calling in Nursery or Primary. She could do it, you know. She would learn the gospel from the beginning, too (which I have been doing for the last few years). She could get the support from those around her. I know that because I go to church, I know more people and have been getting more support from strangers than she is. And she needs religious support. She is great with kids. She just needs someone to reach out to her and pull her in.

That's what happened to me. :) My neighbor (who I would go walking with) was in the Primary Presidency in my ward. They needed a Secretary. I went to a Primary Party at their house. The next day, I had a calling. My prayers of Jeremiah getting a calling so that our family would go to church was answered by ME getting a calling, learning the gospel at a level I needed and having great friends and a HUGE support system...

God works in mysterious ways. Good ways.

Be Kind.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
~ Plato

How do you scare the daylights out of Mandy?

Park a fire truck and an ambulance in front of her house and another fire truck and ambulance across the street from her house!

I picked up Archer from Preschool today at around 11:30am-ish. We took our time coming home because we took an Archer short cut -which means the long way- home. When I come around the turn down by DarTanion's school, I see firetrucks and ambulances with their lights on down the street. I didn't move over into the other lane because my house was right there... When I got to the stop light by my house, I saw that they were parked in FRONT of my house. There are cones blocking my driveway and everything! I stop in the road right by one of the cones and ask if everything is okay and tell them that it's MY house that they are parked in front of! The guy who came over said not to worry, my house is fine. He then explained that a former Fire Chief had passed away and that his funeral procession would be traveling by shortly and that they were doing this to honor him. They raised both ladders into the shape of an 'X' in the sky.

Archer, Robyn and I went outside so that they could see the fire trucks. They opened the doors and showed Archer the insides of the truck. He thought it was pretty cool, but didn't dare get too close. I tried to get a picture of him in front of it, but the kid wouldn't stand still. He actually ran back into our house! I went inside and took some pictures from Robyn's window. I called our neighbors to tell them and we all met out in front of the fire trucks. We had a lot of excited little boys outside. :)


It's a really neat way to be honored, but to be honest, I'm just glad that my house wasn't burning down while I was picking up Archer from school! :)