Stinkin' Pigs...

So my kids (okay, me too) are not the biggest fan of shots / vaccines. But I feel like some are necessary and just deal with the fact that we need some. Robynson's doctor would like us all to get the flu shot / H1N1 shot (Swine Flu Vaccine). Okay, fine. We'll do what we need to do.

EXCEPT...

There aren't any flu shots in Wasatch County or Utah County or at Primary Children's Medical Center. And the Swine Flu vaccine line is generally between a 1 hour and 3 hour wait. Because THAT MANY people are freaked out. Which is making ME freak out...

I don't watch the news because I do panic. It drives me crazy. But this weekend, I watched the news and it said that over half of the kids at Tooele High School were out sick on Friday. Over HALF of the 1400 students were sick. NOT GOOD!!! And 43 kids have already died from this crap? NOT GOOD!!! My neighbors (at least 2 sets of them) have sick kids. Or sick families. My Angie? She's been sick - so have her kids. Everyone!!! NOT GOOD, PEOPLE!!! I need to get my kids (especially my heart problem baby) vaccinated, but standing in line for 3 hours in the cold rainy weather around other people who MIGHT be sick isn't a great idea!

And I have (for the first time EVER) started to think about pulling my kids out of school and trying to HOME SCHOOL them - which, I tell you, wouldn't work out so well for them or me. I don't have the patience needed to make my kids read / write / sit still for hours on end.

So for now, I sit in panic. I search for flu shots. And H1N1 shots. And preferably cheap / free ones. :) I deal with my already existing Panic / Anxiety issues by doubling my dosage of Zoloft. I am becoming a germ freak (wash your hands, NOW!) and a crazy mess about letting friends come over. My poor kids...

But I'm not alone. THIS POST (click it!) made me happy because it's not "just me" in this panic mode. It's spreading. The Panic and the pig flu...

Here's to hoping that we all survive this and this is not the plague that ends the world....

It's Raining, It's Pouring....

I can't sleep.

It's almost 3am.
I went to bed at 10pm.
I woke up at around 2am...
Reason for my panic attack that is
REFUSING to let me sleep?
Same as most always...
Money.

This is probably the best illustration I could find online to describe us financially right now. Drowning in Debt... Why is this one the best, you ask? Because most of the pictures had at least a hand above water or debt. Nope. Not us... We're sinking. Completely covered and going down further.

Last month, I was hoping that we would be able to start to catch up. Hoping that we could pay everything on time. Hoping that I could pay at least the minimum payment for all of the bills. This month, it has been realized that even with a little bit of extra money coming in from Jed living here (Jeremiah's brother moved in the end of September) that we still aren't 'making it'.

But, the news gets worse.
Jeremiah will probably be laid off soon. AND
We've received a Medicaid Denial Letter (which I'm fighting, btw).

So, these are the reasons I am awake at 3am. These are the reasons I buy my clothes at the DI or at Savers. These are the reasons that I can't go out with you. These are the reasons for my stress...

I was going to end the post there. But I've decided to add this little gem...

I have been praying a lot lately for help. For guidance. For something to help me see a light at the end of the tunnel. There seems to be an answer that keeps showing up that I keep covering my eyes and ears, making loud noises and ignoring.

PAY YOUR TITHING.

Something "simple". Something commanded by our Prophet. Something that I've read about, heard about, been testified to about and actually really believe in.

EXCEPT...

How do you pay tithing when you can't pay your house payment? Or car payment? Or doctor bills? Or Utility Bills?

So here is to taking a "leap of faith". Tomorrow morning when I write out checks for bills, I will be writing one for tithing...

Wish me luck.