Tears

I've cried a lot lately. I've been on one big emotional roller coaster for some reason!

This morning, I opened the mail from yesterday to find 6 (yes 6!) letters from collection agencies. Six.

I called the Law Firm / Collection Agency ones (5 of the 6) first - they were all with the same company. I explained that I was waiting for a decision from Disability Medicaid to come thru before I made payments to the Pediatric Radiology. The lady was very polite (I would HATE her job!) but explained that she is sorry but that I now have to pay the collection charges on top of the medical bills. That means instead of $600, we owe $900. Just for someone to look at Robyn's Echo's and interpret them. Gulp. I hung up and cried.

Then I called the one that the hospital still had, but that it was in their collections department. It was for the Life Flight Bill. Eight THOUSAND dollars after they already wrote off $2000 of it. They said that I had to make at least the minimum payment of $120 in the next 30 days or they would send us to a collection agency, who can charge up to 50% of what we owe. SO... yeah. I was starting to cry on the phone with her and I'm sure she could tell... When I hung up, I cried again.

I called Jeremiah, explained to him what had happened and cried again.

My kids were playing with some friends while I made those phone calls, so when their mom came over to grab them, I told her about my morning and cried again (just a little that time).

On another side of this, though, there are other tears... Good tears.

*Today our Relief Society President came over to my house with a gift from 'some members of our ward' who wanted to give us something for Christmas. Try $180 somethings. Gift Cards. I cried. So whomever you are, if you find my blog by accident, please know that I am so thankful for your kindness, your thoughts, your love. Thank you. SO MUCH...

*A few days ago, my Visiting Teacher came over with gifts for my whole little family. And a gift card. Honestly, there aren't words. Thank you Jones family. You amaze me. You made me cry happy tears.

*I opened a Christmas card from a high school work friend who I have reconnected with thanks to Facebook. More money. She bought Santa Christmas for my kids. I don't know if that was her purpose with the money, but that is what I bought with it. Thank you, Emily. You made me cry happy tears too.

*My Grandma Rea called me today just to tell me that he loves me and how absolutely wonderful I am. And I cried. I teared up on the phone but I don't know if she could tell. Thanks Grandma. :)

*My sister's birthday was Monday. We went to her house to celebrate Christmas together as a family and to celebrate her birthday because all she wanted was to spend her birthday with her family. Sean was home. He was dazed and looked SO skinny, but he was home. And that's what she wanted. I watched them sit together and her have to help him with medicines. She is SO strong. (And yeah, I cried on my way home...) But I'm glad that she got what she wanted for her birthday.

*I just cried writing about all of this.



So, please know how truly thankful, appreciative, grateful I am. I am amazed everyday by the love, the strength, the friendship, the desire to give that others have. Our family is so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. Thank you. Merry Christmas. I love you.