Michelle and Cinders

The lovely and talented, Michelle Davidson Argyle

Back in Middle and High School, I had a bestest friend named Michelle Davidson (who is now Michelle Argyle!). She was always writing / drawing something. And she has always had amazing talent. :) I was privileged to read stories that she wrote back in the day (and even one a few years ago called 'The Breakaway' that was even MORE amazing!)

And now?

She has published a novella (shorter book) called 'Cinders'. I personally can't wait for it to come out this August. I've already ordered my copy - which she has promised that she will sign - and am waiting to read it... :) I want to give her some props and showcase her beautiful cover and the book trailer for this book so that you can check it out, too.

First, Check out her website:
http://michelledavidsonargyle.blogspot.com/

And now,
I present to you
the art that is
CINDERS...

BEAUTIFUL COVER

Awesome Book Trailer

Because you should... And I would, if I had the money.

Is that not the coolest logo thingy? :)

You should click it - you can find a way cool blog to follow and a warm fuzzy *snuggy* feeling. And you should donate. Because I would, if I could. :) And who knows, maybe I will! :) And then you and I can be friends. :)

Much Loves! :)
Mandy

Appreciation for babies :)

Robyn and Baby Kiah, Nov. 2009

Sometimes, when life is good, you don't realize how good it is. Sometimes you will take those little moments for granted. You don't give your babies enough loves. You don't get down on the floor and play with them enough. You just don't show them how much you really love them. Then something happens - life slaps you in the face. Kids get sick. And it all comes hurtling back into perspective.

Angie has been one of my bestests (friends) since I was in 4th grade. We've been through quite a lot together. She was my Maid of Honor when I got married. :) She's my girl version of Jeremiah. :) She's a total goof ball and I love her for it. :)

Angie has 4 kids. 3 boys and one precious little girl named Kiah. Today is Kiah's birthday. And not just any birthday... Her 1st birthday! :) Last year, I was visiting this little doll in the hospital. Last year, I was holding her and kissing her and loving on her. Loving this little girl who my Angie has been waiting and wanting for SO long. Today, I was in another hospital room, loving on and kissing this same little girl and visiting with my Angie.


Kiah is sick, but she'll be okay. She was acting like she was teething and had a cold, but when her face started to swell (down by her jaw bone), they took her to the doctor. Antibiotics didn't cut it and now they are in the hospital. Kiah was admitted on Monday and they hope to bring her home by Thursday - with enough time to get a party together for her oldest little guy who turns 7 on Sunday. They have drained bacteria from the swelling and are doing tests on it. Unfortunately, the swelling is back so they are thinking they may have to do surgery. It's not necessarily a life or death experience, but it is a scary, scary thing to have your little one in the hospital. For any reason.

I didn't know that visiting baby Kiah in the hospital was going to affect me. But it did. I was suddenly back to the same hospital that Robyn was diagnosed in. The same cribs. The same Hospital room set up. The kids floor and play room. I started shaking a little and actually ended up crying a little while reliving my Robyn's experience.

Angie and I talked about how it's scary and how you long to see your 'healthy' kids and how you feel like you should just hold your sick little one. We both decided that if this is what it takes to be able to relate or to be strong and grow personally, that we're happy NOT relating to others and being weak and not growing personally. :)

It also makes you stop and think about your life - what is precious and what deserves your time and how you can be better. About how you freaked out and left your husband at the hospital to take care of your daughter because you couldn't handle it YET your friend is refusing to eat or go to the bathroom because she has to be there and hold and comfort her baby. Angie is a good mom. A great mom. And a great friend. :) She is calm and she's feeling the blessings of health and modern medicine. She's pretty much amazing.



Happy Birthday to baby Kiah - we wish you a happy and healthy new year. Get better soon, baby girl!

Tears

I've cried a lot lately. I've been on one big emotional roller coaster for some reason!

This morning, I opened the mail from yesterday to find 6 (yes 6!) letters from collection agencies. Six.

I called the Law Firm / Collection Agency ones (5 of the 6) first - they were all with the same company. I explained that I was waiting for a decision from Disability Medicaid to come thru before I made payments to the Pediatric Radiology. The lady was very polite (I would HATE her job!) but explained that she is sorry but that I now have to pay the collection charges on top of the medical bills. That means instead of $600, we owe $900. Just for someone to look at Robyn's Echo's and interpret them. Gulp. I hung up and cried.

Then I called the one that the hospital still had, but that it was in their collections department. It was for the Life Flight Bill. Eight THOUSAND dollars after they already wrote off $2000 of it. They said that I had to make at least the minimum payment of $120 in the next 30 days or they would send us to a collection agency, who can charge up to 50% of what we owe. SO... yeah. I was starting to cry on the phone with her and I'm sure she could tell... When I hung up, I cried again.

I called Jeremiah, explained to him what had happened and cried again.

My kids were playing with some friends while I made those phone calls, so when their mom came over to grab them, I told her about my morning and cried again (just a little that time).

On another side of this, though, there are other tears... Good tears.

*Today our Relief Society President came over to my house with a gift from 'some members of our ward' who wanted to give us something for Christmas. Try $180 somethings. Gift Cards. I cried. So whomever you are, if you find my blog by accident, please know that I am so thankful for your kindness, your thoughts, your love. Thank you. SO MUCH...

*A few days ago, my Visiting Teacher came over with gifts for my whole little family. And a gift card. Honestly, there aren't words. Thank you Jones family. You amaze me. You made me cry happy tears.

*I opened a Christmas card from a high school work friend who I have reconnected with thanks to Facebook. More money. She bought Santa Christmas for my kids. I don't know if that was her purpose with the money, but that is what I bought with it. Thank you, Emily. You made me cry happy tears too.

*My Grandma Rea called me today just to tell me that he loves me and how absolutely wonderful I am. And I cried. I teared up on the phone but I don't know if she could tell. Thanks Grandma. :)

*My sister's birthday was Monday. We went to her house to celebrate Christmas together as a family and to celebrate her birthday because all she wanted was to spend her birthday with her family. Sean was home. He was dazed and looked SO skinny, but he was home. And that's what she wanted. I watched them sit together and her have to help him with medicines. She is SO strong. (And yeah, I cried on my way home...) But I'm glad that she got what she wanted for her birthday.

*I just cried writing about all of this.



So, please know how truly thankful, appreciative, grateful I am. I am amazed everyday by the love, the strength, the friendship, the desire to give that others have. Our family is so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. Thank you. Merry Christmas. I love you.

For my sister...

Growing up, my sister Colleenia (Keen) and I didn't get along too well. I don't know if it was sibling rivalry or what. We actually had fist punching, hair pulling, really bad and mean fights. There was some weird competition or something. Even when I moved out and she still lived at home, there was tension. Not as bad, but there was still something there where it just seemed like we didn't get along or something. Don't know what it was...

But now? Now it's different.

She is one of the most kind-hearted people I know. She is also one of the strongest people I know.


Keen got married in 2003 to Sean Kranendonk, when my DarTanion was only a month old. He's always been Uncle Sean. The kids love him. Sean is an only child from a broken home. He's a little needy for my liking, but that's the kind of guy Colleenia needs. Someone to need her, to want her and to love her. And Sean does that.


They had a little girl, Kaylee, in December 2006. Since Sean's Dad wasn't around growing up, Sean decided that he was going to be the BEST Dad to that little girl - and he is. And Colleenia is a fantastic mom. Kaylee is spoiled and cute and completely loved.

In early 2008, Sean was diagnosed with Cancer. Lots of it filled his body. It was in his stomach, his esophagus, and trying to get all over in to the rest of his torso. Outlook was grim. The doctors were baffled because this kind of cancer doesn't usually affect young, healthy guys. It's an older man type of cancer. But he had it and was going to live through it!

He went thru Chemo and Radiation. He was sick all the time. He still tried to work on his non-Chemo weeks to support his little family. Colleenia took on a second waitress job to bring in more money for the doctor bills. Life was tough, but they were making it. They still tried to do things together as a family. They still spent time together. Colleenia would try and be there for every doctor appointment and Kaylee was never left at a stranger's house to be baby sat. They faced it together. They didn't want to talk about the 'what if'....

Sean seemed to be in remission at the end of 2008. Things seemed okay. We were all excited and hopeful! But in the beginning of 2009, test came back showing that the cancer had came back. More quickly than it should have. More rampant than before.

Sean has been battling hard all year. Lots more Chemo, radiation, medicines, surgeries.... He had his stomach removed to avoid the cancer spreading. It still spread. He can't eat much now, but even when he does, he just pukes it back up. It makes him more sick. Sean has said that he can feel his body shutting down.

For the last month, Sean has been in the hospital. He's been really sick. His temperature has gone up and down into the scary ranges of each. Doctors don't know what has been causing it. They are baffled again. He has been so weak, that he can't even go to the bathroom by himself. They don't know what has been making him so sick. They think he may have an infection inside him, but they've been unable to locate it. He's been transferred back and forth from the University of Utah Hospital and Huntsman Cancer Institute. The outlook isn't good...

This whole time, Colleenia has been by his side. She didn't necessarily quit her jobs, but just told them the circumstance and said that she is sorry, but that she has to be with him. They are understanding, which has been really nice, but the only money coming in now is her AVON money...

Sean doesn't want to be alone and Colleenia doesn't want to leave him. She will take a couple hours each week to go home, pay bills and make sure that their house is still there, but then she goes right back to the hospital. She has actually also taken some time to go to my parents house to see Kaylee. Kaylee is living with Grandma and Grandpa Barlow right now while Mom and Dad are at the hospital...

I can't imagine going through everything that they have gone through. I can't imagine the emotional drain it must be to watch the one you love slowly fade away. And for such hands on, attentive parents to not be able to see their little girl whenever they want, it must be killing them. Colleenia has stayed positive and encouraging since the beginning. I don't know what she'll do if he doesn't get better...

Keen is sort of my hero right now. She is always worrying about others when so much is going on in her life. She even called me to see if I needed anything for the kids for Christmas! (Don't worry about Kaylee's Christmas, Keen's a year round bargain shopper!) She doesn't like to ask for help. She is an amazing mom - Kaylee is well loved and well taken care of. She is the best waitress I know. Customers come and ask for her specifically. Some of her regulars have even offered to pay her bills while she's with Sean. Keen does SO much for so many people. She loves her husband and won't talk about the posibility of him not getting well. She tries to keep him motivated and his spirits up. I don't think I could do all she does. She's pretty much amazing.

The Art of James Christensen...

"All the World's a Stage", by James Christensen How many Shakespearean characters can you find?

I cannot express to you how much I LOVE the artwork of James Christensen. He is completely amazing. I had the chance to meet him once when I worked at the Homestead (there was a conference and he was the guest speaker), but I gave myself quite the little (ok big) panic attack (about meeting him) and couldn't go down to meet him... THEN, he just released a book called "Men and Angels".

I decided that I NEEDED to own this book. He was doing book signings and I was going to go and meet him and express that I love his work and I think he is completely amazing and that I - well, I don't know but just something. And of course, the night he was going to be near me was the night of Jeremiah's company's Christmas Party. And we went there instead....

BUT - I have an amazing little sister. Not that she will ever read this, but if you see her, tell her that she is amazing for me. Colleenia got off work at 7pm. The book signing in Fruit Heights (like 20 minutes from her house) got over at 8pm. I told her that I would love her forever and really, really appreciate her if she could go and get me this book - signed. By him. So instead of feeding her little family dinner first, she packed them all in the car and drove to Fruit Heights and bought me my $85 + tax book (ok, I DID pay her back for that, but still) and she even had him sign it to ME! :) It was simple because she didn't know what to have him say, so he just wrote his own little thing -

For Mandy
Peace and Blessings
James Christensen
2.0.0.8

James Christensen - FANTASTIC ARTIST MAN! :)

And his signature - just as artsy as his beautiful paintings! :) :) So I'm a giddy little girl because I just got my gigantic, wonderful book from James Christensen (thanks Colleenia for getting it; thanks dad for bringing it down to me; thanks Jeremiah for letting me get myself a great Christmas gift that I got to look at early).

If you are not familiar with his work - look him up. You won't be disappointed. Like I said - he's amazing. Below are a few of his more well known pieces. Click on them and make them bigger - do searches on GOOGLE for them - whatever. Just check him out. Enjoy! :)

Once Upon a Time

Men and Angels

Faery Tales

The Burden of the Responsible Man

Three Kings

Parables

The Bride

Balancing Act

If you find this blog by chance, Mr. Christensen, please know - I love your art. Thank you for sharing your wonderful, amazing, great talent.