I'm a Little Bummed...

Don't get me wrong, I've had an awesome Thanksgiving Day - full of turkey (and left over turkey!), mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, croissants, salad, pie - with some of my family and all the other wonderful things of this great holiday...

BUT...

I'm feeling bummed. Again. For the same old reasons as most of my other depressing posts.

For some reason, I decided that I needed to go through our bills and decide which ones get paid this month. I've hated paying bills for the last several months because I know that we don't have money and I know that they aren't all going to be paid and I know that I'm going to end up feeling crappy by the time I'm through. But, it needed to be done and I've been putting it off for, oh, about a month now. So now I'm bummed. And it helps me to feel better when I write it down so that's what I'm doing.

Tomorrow is the BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY of the year. I love to go out and be part of the madness. That and I love the awesome deals! :) But, when you are broke and can only afford ONE Christmas Gift per child (and your price limit per gift is $25!) - it sucks. DarTanion's gift is bought already (YAY!), but I need to get something for Archer and Robynson. I've found some deals at Walmart and my parents paid Jeremiah a little money for helping in their kitchen (total remodel - it's gonna be awesome!). So now, I have $70 to buy something small for Archer, something small for Robyn, and hopefully a little something for my niece, my nephew and the 3 cousins my kid's have for Christmas for the Bagley Christmas party. Oh yeah - not to mention Robyn's birthday in 2 days. Or Reanna's or Kaylee's or Colleenia's....

If you are an adult family member, you're probably not getting anything except a Christmas card from us this year. Sorry. I feel really badly about that. Because I really like to go all out and give basically everyone I know something. But not this year. Family, Friends and Neighbors will probably be getting homemade bread or cookies. Grandparents: Sorry, I couldn't afford the photo books this year. I got them all put together, but I couldn't afford the $45 to get them done. And I really can't afford the $70 that they are now! But they're made and I can buy them at a future date, and I really hope to be able to do that. Sorry. It'll probably be a family picture or a picture of the kids in a frame that I already have.

SO, if you planned on getting Jeremiah and I something - please don't! I feel horrible that I can't get you anything. But I have to pay my bills, so that I don't lose my house, my heat, my power, my Internet (it's important so I can keep in touch!), my phone (again, important so I can keep in touch).

There is an awesome thing that I'd like to share, though...

I have a friend down here in Provo named Heather. She has 4 kids that play with my 3 kids really well. We've connected, our kids like each other and she seems to be able to handle Jeremiah's goofy personality! :) She wanted to help with Robyn's birthday (which is awesome), so she posted an ad on KSL telling people of our circumstance and said that if people could help, it would be appreciated. So far, Robyn has had 3 gifts show up from complete strangers who just wanted to help our little girl have a great birthday. Once again, the kindness of strangers amazes me. Because of a simple act of love from my friend, my family is blessed and prayers are answered.

I am bummed about our finances and inability to buy things for our loved ones, but I know that I am blessed. I know that I am loved. I know that somehow, it'll all work out.